WHO are YOU?

Before I was born my Mother was married to a man in Carlsbad who was killed in a collision between a bus and his car.

That would be my biological father-I wouldn't know about him or anything about his family until many years later.

Just one of MANY lies my Mother told me and perpetrated.

I don't know what demons pursued her-where she had been or what had happened because the stories changed and wound about each other like a nest of snakes.

Sad really...to be so trapped in duplicity...but as I say, who knows why?

She and my BF owned a cute little cottage in Lynwood-at that time a desireable suburb for young couples a bit south of Los Angeles.

Its unclear what happened from there-she at some point was in Carlsbad, pregnant with me and her good friends Don and Mildred Primo (Mildred was my God-Mother) insisited she pack up and come back to Lynwood.

Somehow the story is that she was pouring concrete while pregnant-I'm sure it's probably true but it was indentured servitude as it was later presented to me.

I think we all have friends at some point in our life that are so devoted that they will skew a story so we become the tragic victim or the shining hero or the exceptionally witty one in the tale.

My Mother seemed to have more of those sorts of friends than most people-mt Mother also didn't know how to say NO to people-a thing she passed along to me.

Saying NO would make people NOT like you....she believed this deeply-so she would attempt to be a;l; things to all people.

Behind the scenes she would have lots to say about those same people and how they took advantage of her, or how two faced they were or even bits she would make up to suit the occasion-there might be a thread of truth in the story but it was a thin thread at best.

Betty Gayhart, the lady across the street from us in Pico Rivera DID indeed wear Mother's hat to a PTA convention-she didn't ask to borrow it Mother almost insisted she wear it.

My Mom had hand done the hat frame and the trims and it was a quiet but stylish little hat most suitable for the 1950's , Doona Reed and the PTA (especially a convention).

So Betty wore it, brought it back (without a plate of cookies or anything) in good shape , thanked my Mother and made a point that she had recieved many compliments on it and DID have the nerve to ask if she could borrow my Mothers PINK picture hat the next month for a lunceon.

When you can't say no the only answer is yes so hat number one was exchanged for hat #2 and off she went.

No stay with me here: Betty wors the first hat because my Mother insisted, the 2nd hat she ASKED to borrow and Mother handed it over-Betty did, indeed, wear the hat to the luncheon mentioned BUT she also wore it EASTER SUNDAY to church with a new pink suit she had bought from J C Penny's as was the custome in those days-everyone bought new clothes for EASTER.

How new clothese reflects the resurrection escapes me - I was often decked out in Sornet colours with bow ties and my poor sister would be buried in ruffles and gloves and a hat and a purse and frilly socks with lace.

We didn't want to go to the big white Baptist Church by the reflecting pond with the picturesque willow trees in the first place (we were Lutherans but Mother didn't like the minister so the Baprtists got us).

Actually, mostly got ME-my Grandmother (Mother's Mother) lived with us in a front bedroom (one of 3-it would later be my SISTER'S ROOM but in name only for many years-poor Donna).

So I was shuttled off to vacation Bible school, I was a dutiful Jet Cadet for Jesus (REALLY! I still have the hat somewhere) I guess it was harmless and my Mother could glowingly report that I know all the books of the new testament and was in Jet Cadets etc. etc-It wasn't until I was an adult that I figured out she had read TOM SAWYER about that time.

You may or may not remember that Tom's Aunt Polly was very proud of his cousin SID for memorizing Bible verses-if one memorized enough one recieved a Bible of their very own-do I need to write more?

This pattern will be repeated many times over the years between 1952 when we moved from the little house in Lynwood to the 3 bedroom, one bath new house with carefully chosen orange trees on the big lot in Pico Rivera.

We had a new home, it was 1952, Mother had a new husband and I had a new Dad and Grandma came from Cleveland to live with us (supposedly to take care of me).

We lived at 9340 Balfour just off Passons Road, it was one block to the Elementary Scool, one block to the Junior High and the High School was just behind us (my Mothers was very irritated when they wouldn't let her put a gate in their chain link fence so I didn't have to round the corner.

There were lots of kids in the neighborhood, Betty (the hat lady who committed the great sin of borrowing a hat for one occasion and wearing it twice) had three boys-the oldest just my age-Peggy down the block had 2 and Sue next door had 2 teenage boys (one from a previous marriage)-across the street were the Findlings who had two boys and a girl also older than me-they all seemed to play the accordian (you know what THAT means right?).

It was the start of the magical but nervous years that followed WW2.

Mother had jungle vine wall paper (chartreuse, grey and maroon) black panthers and blonde moderne furntiure and flamingo lamps to go with the mirror framed cockatoo pictures over the sofa.

ALL from J C Penny's.