Friday, August 11, 2017

I hate E MAIL

We don't seem to be able to do without it and at the same time so many people fight and curse it-I just simply hate EMAIL and texting and twitter and all those short and simple manners of "communication LITE' we seem addicted to.

The first and more obvious strike against EMAIL is it's lack of depth and tone.

In an old fashioned letter one can wax on and fill pages with rich verbiage doing their utmost to convey exactly what they are feeling (and meaning).

EMAIL by design and intent is short and concise-you cannot see or hear the person writing and often you may not have any frame of reference by which to gauge their actual meaning and intensity (or lack thereof) .

Things meant to be light and joking can read out as stiff and haughty or demanding.

Seldom have I been involved in an email misunderstanding where in the recipient thought the whole thing was funny and mocking.

Actually that is NOT true it happened once-a person emailed me to scold me for missing their birthday (ignoring their birthday) and I shot back a lengthy message outlining why they were a miserable bastard , how I had done far more than my share and to wither and die unless they could find a convincing apology somewhere in their miserable rat bastard soul.

I got a short concise reply: ROTFLMAOPMPTRDMF

They seriously thought I was kidding and had written the funniest piece of recrimination in history.

Cut down an email to a few words hastily thumbed off on a cel phone and you have the tweets and texts that some of our current leadership is so fond of-even easier to misunderstand and it seems likely to get one into trouble.

I want to go back to the days of softly scented rich writing paper/stationary embossed, engraved, designed for the purpose of communication and wanting to be filled with lovely script handwriting.

They stopped teaching kids how to write, penmanship became a thing of the  are no longer judged on you margins...

Only the very wealthy own fountain pens and they reside in a special case for their writing implement collection.

I used to collect note cards: singles, boxes, sets, handmade and manufactured-I never sent a store bought greeting card I always put something together from my collection of various writing surfaces kept in a cardboard lap desk along with parchment envelopes of bits and lovely to send a beautiful card carefully written in purple ink, scented with lavender and containing a delicate hankie , tatted book mark or some other little unique treasure.

At one time people would save silk ribbons, single feathers; even the wings of butterflies to tuck into a note-it was important to have the perfect thing to go off in the mail not just a piece of cold paper.

Not so many years ago we always had prints of photos put aside and letters EAST or overseas never went without a snapshot or two.

I suppose attachments have filled that purpose but who prints them off anymore-they end up in the smart phone and are swiped up for others to see and then forgotten.

I loved to buy cards from Papyrus-they had so many styles, cards sparkling with glitter, pierced parchment

Special pens in gold, silver, bronze and copper inks and coloured pearls or glitters-they are still around, I used them to sign photos, autograph books, make a special note in a margin...

They wrote BOOKS about how to write letters, notes, apologies, acceptances, invitations...correspondence was an ART FORM.

Now its quick and cold...terse...maybe the occasional emoji (ick, is it POOP or is it Chocolate Yogurt? No one seems sure).

I want my grace and beauty back.

I do know a few people who still attempt the style and class of another time but truth be told it's not so easy to get the proper supplies and when you can they are bloody expensive.

Eventually it will be micro files with short statements or vids clicked off with cams in the phones or animated GIFS (or whatever comes next); a clever Rabbit that pops up and says "I'm late" and then explodes into a cloud of glitter.

There was a book that had that sort of futuristic paraphernalia-opulent little nonsensical events, computer generated and masquerading as style.

SO....I hate EMAIL....I use it-it certainly is cheaper than stamps...but I still say it's sparse.

Perhaps they could invent a form of 90 second movie that encapsulated the essence of what you were trying to say and could be personalized-OH WAIT...Jib Jab....never mind.

I hate EMAIL.


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