Exotic Plummage

My mother taught me early on that there is nothing better than tits and rhinestone except perhaps for Tits, Rhinestones and Feathers.

I guess in her heyday she had been a fan of Follies type shows, Errol Carroll's, Ziegfeld...the big production shows.

I grew up on scratched, commercial ridden MGM musicals like Ziegfeld Girl and I loved every sequin, rhinestone and slithering train-as they descended forever those white, classic stairways...glancing sideways from under their mascaraed lashes, softly parting their perfect pouty lips, skipping coquettishly in high heels...a glimpse of creamy white thighs-barely covered but yet so covered up.

In the Ozzie and Harriet 1950's amongst the Orange Tree's and shopping malls there was little grand entertainment...no great musical theater....it all happened twelve miles away in downtown L A or further North in Hollywood and Beverly Hills.

In my teens my Godmother took me to see Liz Taylor in the gigantic Hollywood make believe Egypt of CLEOPATRA,,,still an epic today but even more so in its original road show cut that ran almost 5 hours and had some pretty frisky costumes especially in the Entance into Rome which was originall nearly 30 minutes long.

My Grandmother and Mother and Godmother would get together and tell me stories of Las Vegas that impossible oasis in the desert-sparkeling for all of it's life and for some strange reason patterned in one way on Arabia, Sand Dunes and Tropical Nights and in another so very FRENCH.

They imported naught shows like te Lido De Paris and The Follies Beregeres and even made up some of their own-The Casino De Paris, Bal De Moulin Rouge, Vive Les Girls-at one point there were at least 30 french production style shows ranging from intimate cabaret to grand spectacle running on the strip alone.

You could have cocktails in the lounge for Vive Les Girls, walk a few yards into the big showroom and catch the dinner show at Casino De Paree a Frederic Apcar pair then taxi down to the Stardust for the most recent Lido show from Paris with imported breasts and have a late drink at yet another lounge show...Donn Arden hit the strip with Hallelujah Hollywood at the MGM grand, when the theatre burned he came back with Jubilee (possibly one of the most beautiful shows ever stage and the last of the old fashioned production shows in Vegas and in Reno up the state HELLO HOLLYWOOD HELLO the BIGGEST show ever staged on what was the largest stage in the world.

Every night they "landed" a 727 jet liner on stage, battled alien invaders, held a circus parade and more with a huge cast, more feathers and sparkle than anyone could take in and always bigger and louder and better than anyone else in the world.

I would find any and every excuse to visit Las Vegas to binge on tits and feathers...in those days the shows were from maybe 5 dollar to 20.00 cover charge which included too much liquor and the drinks were not skimpy on the booze.

The funniest show ever was SPICE on ICE at the Hacienda hotel-they tried to do a topless ice show on a slab of frozen water the size of a small swinning pool-the only things I remember about the show was the absolutly crude comic who wasn't funny and the big Louisiana Riverboat finales which had two chubby showgirls dressed as Tacos and two dressed as Watermelons...I spent most of the night throwing up Singapore Slings and vowed I would never see another "erotic" ice show....ever!

At the MGM GRAND Samson was fighting it out with Delilah and they sank the Titanic every night, The Lido had a flood which destroyed a french village, pagan Idols and Aztec Princesses being sacrificed, at the Dunes 1930's gangsters molls taking bubble baths in see thru bathtubs and a great Rainbow staircase at the Tropicana full of tired girls in tacky costumes

Sensory overload at every turn and all with those perfect,bare breasts, long eyelashes, opulant jewels and ostrich plumes, lady Amherst pheasant tails-one costume alone cost over 100 thousand for the 6 foot log spray of Chinese pheasant feathers, the finale costume of the lead showgirl at Balley's cost more than a house in most cities...and don't forget you could also see MEN...well, male dancers by the 1970's they had found the gym and muscled up and their costumes got skimpier-bare butt's bulging with muscles, tanned skin, newly chisled jawlines and cheekbones pantomimg passionate love with the lead female dancer as the jungle burst into flames, the sky opened and poured rain and she was tortured and sacrificed to the God of Love on a gold painted alter to a full orchestra and a choros of 20.

There were two things in Vegas that were breathtaking ---well three....Felicia's 46 dd Breasts draped in rhinestones as she came down from the ceiling at the opening of the old Follies Bergere (she came down at the start and then again in the finale twice a night for a decade or so-I hear she made $2500.00 a week-she was the symbol of Las Vegas and showgirls for many years). The other thing was Nicky Navarro in patent leather skintight pants, boots and a motorcycle jacket doing big jumps, leaps and toe spins-Nick Navarro was what every male show dancer hoped to be. Nick Navarro's leather encased ass was every bit as inspiring as Felicia's boobs.

I managed years later when I was still singing to get 6 weeks at The Lido in Paris-a very different experience from Vegas....much more elegant and surrounded on three sides by Japanese tourists and Germans in for the weekend....bad champagne for some and overpriced for the movie stars.

I was a featured singer so I was on in the opening number is a blue tail suit with rhinestone lapels and a matching top hat that didn't fit-no hat on earth would fit my giant head-even my patent leather shoes were the same blue-the colour of the sky over Paris.

I had a huge golden leopard cape and some sort of vaguely Indian rajah garb for a production number patterned on an Indiana Jones like character (I was the villein) I got to rip the clothes off a lovely french girl with breathtaking violet eyes and perfect breasts-with a giant sapphire in her navel and not much else on...I was a Hollywood style movie f=director in boots and a cap with a megaphone-puhing around the dancers a la Busby Berkley I sang a wonderful solo near the end of the show called LA CHANSON DE VIEUX AMANTS on a softly lit stage witbsome showgirls posed in lavish gowns and head gear and then a silver copy of my blue tails for the Finale.

Seeing the show up close and being a part of the running up and down stairs, trying not to fall into the well in the center of the sage-trying to stay on the narrow catwalk around the edge with spotlights in your eyes....all of it was amazing and at the same time terribly disappointing.

LAVISH is not meant to be studied or viewed front too close a place-the rows of sequins show patching and tarnish, the rhinestones need cleaning-the feathers are molting and the opulent fabrics are all for show, all for their effect on the stage....a lot of the beauty is painted on, skillfull makeup, year of practice at sculpting perfect cheekbones and blushing the clenage, accentuating the abs.

There was a wonderful little cake of makeup that could take 10 years or more off your age-it was a peachy pearl powder that came in several shades and when dusted over a finished face ready fr the stage made all the flaws recede, skin became velvety and perfect cheeks filled out and noses narrowed foreheads lost their worry lines...it was an expensive miracle-they had to stop making it I understand because it floated in the air when it was applied and the ingredients would cut up your eyes and lungs....I used the last of my magic pearl fountain of youth making a 50 year old Italian Diva look like a 15 year old Japanese Geisha in a production of Madame Butterfly here in California many years later.

Jubilee closed about a year or so ago-the last great production show in Vegas, The Follies Bergeres closed quite awhile ago in Paris-there is still random Cabret and as long as we have drag queens showgirls and rhinestones and feathers will live on.

They had tried many times to recreate the great shows like the Ziegfeld Follies on Broadway but today its just too expensive and too risky for the corporations that production theatricals.

Ostriches all over the world can sleep better since their plummage is less in demand, at least until the next fashion trend that goes in that direction.

In marveling at how many things have ended, gone out of existence in my lifetime or at least in the last century the most horrifying is the number one consumer of stardust and spangles and dreams-Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey's Circus where even the Elephants wore rhinestones and Feathers....this is the last year after over 100 years as an integral part of American entertainment.

I probably won't tell my great nephews how much I loved tits and feathers or about my days coining down those perfect white staircases in pink spotlights with rinestone lapels on my jacket.

It's just too sad and there are a sorry few visual aids.

Bien sûr, nous eûmes des orages
Vingt ans d'amour, c'est l'amour fol
Mille fois tu pris ton bagage
Mille fois je pris mon envol
Et chaque meuble se souvient
Dans cette chambre sans berceau
Des éclats des vieilles tempêtes
Plus rien ne ressemblait à rien
Tu avais perdu le goût de l'eau
Et moi celui de la conquête

Mais, mon amour
Mon doux, mon tendre, mon merveilleux amour
De l'aube claire jusqu'à la fin du jour
Je t'aime encore, tu sais, je t'aime

Jaques Brel